Monday, June 27, 2016

PrettyFit

Hi everyone! I know I have been absent from this site lately, but I've been working on really exciting projects that include developing other skills for professional and personal reasons.

That being said, if you want to keep reading things I write, head over to my newest venture: www.theprettyfit.com for beauty and fitness with a side of snark.

Hope to see you over there!

Friday, February 03, 2012

A Doll and a Void

You’ve turned me into a doll that sits idly by the windowpane and watches you as you walk by. Not just any doll, your doll. The folds of my eyelids house your name, only your name. I won’t blink so you won’t see it; I refuse to give you that advantage, the winning edge. 

I keep my eyes painfully open, exposing all the words that are within my eyes, the dangerous and vulnerable words I’ve allowed you to read instead of allowing you to see that your name is already on my skin. You’ve claimed me as your own even when you’ve kept yourself at a distance. 

I’ve seen you walk by the windowpane and stop. You stare at me through the glass with those eyes of yours, the ones that reveal the softness that you’re capable of. It’s no secret; you’ve made no secret that you’re looking at me. Right at me. Wanting me. Your hands in your pockets, revealing nothing, your eyes probing every inch of my body, reading my eyes, my hands, and my stories. 

I watch you while you balance your weight between the balls of your feet, shifting indecisively while you decide if you want to take me home with you. Magnetic energy roams through our bodies, connecting our eyes in a way I have never allowed myself to dwell over. I let you see me, I let you want me, and I let myself want to be your doll. I sit there waiting for you, and fantasize about your hands inscribing my body with memories of touch. I’d let you brand me, collect me, dress me, and that’s dangerous. 

You’re dangerous. You stand in front of me and I feel like I’m about to blink and let you see your name. Naked. I pretend not to want you, I pretend to not see you, I like to pretend I don’t care if you want me because my cost is high, and my risk of breaking is so. My fragility shows. You sense my desire through these eyes I refuse to close. You smile that greedy, knowing smile; you already know I’m yours.  

I’ve wanted to touch the crinkles around your eyes, the lines on your face, yet found myself touching the windowpane instead. I’ve been content to see you, seen your faults, and read the stories written around your eyes. I pretended to be illiterate and detached; you’ve pretended to believe me.

I’ve wanted to write new stories on your skin, weave memories in your wrinkles, nest my words on your laugh lines; read and write you over and over again. I’ve wanted add to your past, become your present, and continue inscribing myself in your future. 

Then you’re gone. Gone, and your void gets replaced by others who say they want to be mine instead of possessing me; they want to be my dolls. Theirs are wrinkles I don’t want to read, theirs are bodies I don’t want to write. They can touch me, and I think of you. I let myself blink and they pretend to not see your name etched upon the folds of my lids. They come closer than you’ve ever allowed yourself to be. I don’t want them to read my eyes, and they try harder than you ever have. They want me to take them home and I refuse to want them. I refuse because of the words we both carry. 

The words I carry in my eyes are a heavy burden, the words you carry between the folds of your wrinkles are heavier still because you’ve lived and loved more. The burden of fear doesn’t let me touch you, but it also doesn’t allow you to see that I only pretend not to want you, that only pretend not to care. If you looked into my eyes and read the words my irises are made out of, I would let you. Your absence makes it worse, it makes the glass thicker, it makes me want to turn my words into intelligible speech. You’re far away and all I want is to be yours, but my story gets lost in a blackened blur. You pretend like I’m a doll you no longer want. I believe you, even though I know you’re lying. 

I pretend I don't shrivel up inside. 

I pretend to sit still. 

I pretend to fill my life up with others.

Even the others, those who carry stories I am not invested in, cannot mask your absence. Your absence makes me want you more. More, more, more. All I can envision are those stories we both carry. I allow myself to want you to take me home so that we can write our bodies with our stories, create memories that will be etched upon our bodies. We could read and write each other until we ourselves become words that dissolve together, not knowing where you end and where I begin, falling into a page that holds us together.  

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Vote, "Like," and Read!



Vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. (by clicking on the banner above!)- I will appreciate it greatly!

Please "Like" the Friends Like Mine fan page at
www.facebook.com/friendslikemine

Read the Web Comic: Friends Like Mine at www.friendslikemine.com

Friends Like Mine is published every Wednesday and Saturday and is a (sarcastic) comic about friends, family, love, and every pesky little thing in between.

Follow @friendslikemine and @ananabanana on Twitter!

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

I Haven't Changed at All

Check out today's comic by linking on the wonderful link below:




So you can laugh at me on how I haven't changed since I was 15 (or just regressed to being 15 once I turned 25).

PS:
You'll like it if you appreciate sarcasm, Meg Cabot, books, young adult novels, chick lit, boys, watching TV, avoiding homework, laughing at other people's expense, watching movies, and going against parental wishes (just to mess with them, of course).

I really am a teenager.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Well... Damn!

I have a semblance of a life. This life I live through the webcomic: www.friendslikemine.com.

In particular, I have an enjoyable attachment to today's comic.

Well, who said Barbie® dolls couldn't give life lessons?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Press:End



One, two, three, four
             Voicemail.


Please leave
No, I won’t
I refuse
Press
End.



His voice
Extremely absent
But
Oh-so present
A whispered memory
In the crook of
My ear
(in list of items lost)
One, two, three, four
             Voicemail.


Please leave a message
Not this time
I refuse
Press
End.



His voice
As I search
Amongst
The pounding
Comfortably dwelling
Within 
My ears.
(still lost)
One, two, three, four
             Voicemail.


Please leave a message
The beep dares GO
I refuse to
Press
End.



My voice
Borrowed by
One
Who intones
A ghost, a specter
Now echoing in
My ears.
(also lost)
One, two, three
             Oh, hello.


Is he there?
Screaming heartbeats
Wanting to
Press
End.



His voice
Short, distant, dead
Filled with lead and devoid
On his side
Meaningful silence
Shattering speech
On mine
(now in list of items found)
One, two, three, four
               Breathe.


Absent again
Ok, I can’t win
Surrender: bye
Press
End.
His voice, my voice
(items lost, items found)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Freshmen... Oh My!

I teach English composition to college freshmen for the first time (EVER) tomorrow -kind of intimidating to realize, really. Wish me luck!

In the meantime, there's a new comic out today, so click here to read it.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Update

First off: NEW COMIC so, be sure to check it out here.

I spent all of last week attending 9 to 5 workshops for new TAs. Sigh. I'm still exhausted from all the workshops and reading, homework.

Plus, forget about finishing the syllabus (not to mention the schedule).

Ah, I'm exhausted.

Until next time.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Another Just Because

I felt like sharing this one that I enjoy enormously:


The bag in the illustration is supposed to look like a Hermes Birkin Bag, BTW. Le sigh!

Make sure you make time to visit www.friendslikemine.com and follow me on Twitter @ananabanana & @friendslikemine.


Just Because

This is a sample of what you can expect to see in the background of my Web Comic Friends Like Mine. I think I enjoy making these posters a little bit too much.

Make sure you stop by the website (www.friendslikemine.com) and leave some kind of feedback (I'm always SUPER psyched to hear from all of YOU!).

PSSST!!!! Comics are published Wednesdays and Saturdays, so schedule it in!

Final note: With all the time constraints between drawing -well, attempting anyway- and my OTHER life (grad school, teaching, etc), I might not be able to write as much in this space. Just think of my comic as my newer "blog."